I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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