she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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