But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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