I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
