There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
