Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
