She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
