READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
