Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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