We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sorry my hands just texted you
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
