i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I touched a dick in church today
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
