The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
