Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
