Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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