Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
