Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
