i barfeds in our rink
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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