dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
