I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
