dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
