THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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