Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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