I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
