i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
