hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
