I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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