that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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