so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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