im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize