a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
