Have you finally orgasmed yet?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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