I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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