fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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