Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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