They should really pass out barf bags in church
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
