Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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