real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
now i know why i became what i already was.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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