just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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