What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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