How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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