Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
