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Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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