i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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