omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize