So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
