Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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