did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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