Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
