i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
