The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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