Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
