You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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