As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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