Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize