Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize