someone threw a dead crab at me
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Randomize
