margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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