is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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