I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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