So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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