didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
