I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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