Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
