got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
