i need an iv and a liver transplant
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
