i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
